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Funny Jokes Funny Jokes for Graduation

Graduation Jokes For Glad Grads

Graduation jokes for greeting folks with wry in your eye, a quip on your lip, and a humor attitude, dude. Spread the joy, girls and boys. Your life is way also important to be taken seriously!


Graduation One Liners

Graduation Jokes: Little girl in graduation gown and boxing gloves, next to one-liner:

One good matter well-nigh graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your encephalon look larger than information technology actually is.

After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.

When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and jitney passes.



Funny Graduation Quotes

You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough academy credits to graduate. So at present you lot're leaving college and embarking on the greatest gamble - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving dorsum in with your parents.
- Dave Barry

If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have skilful reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
- Conan O'Brien

Your families are extremely proud of you. You lot can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for coin.
- Gary Bolding

Funny Sayings: Graduation

I recall I proved something very of import at graduation: that I could walk and chew glue at the same fourth dimension.
- Melanie White

I didn't graduate with honors. I was honored just to graduate.
- Melanie White

Graduation was the first time that the school actually gave me something I wanted to read.
- Melanie White

I spent my time during graduation pretty much the same mode I spent it in class: sleeping.
- Melanie White

Picture of Stephen Colbert next to one-liner:


Graduation Jokes:
More 1-Liners

My son just graduated from high school and got accepted into college without, then far as I could see, ever getting out of bed in the daytime.
- Bruce Cameron

My son merely graduated from college. My friends asked me what he majored in. I told them he was studying to be an astronaut: he took upward space.
- Submitted by Dennis Brodsky

It'southward tough out in that location, but if y'all take your education and use yourselves, yous will eventually succeed in finding.....an unpaid internship!
- Dan Wasserman

Yous may accept graduated, but you're non finished with Testify and Tell. That's what class reunions are for.
- Melanie White

On the 1 paw, in Jefferson's public life as a founding begetter, we often see him as the embodiment of the white male person patriarchy. But in his private life, he was known for, shall we say, embracing diversity — very affirmative in his deportment. ... You lot graduates are his intellectual heirs. In fact, some of you may be his bodily heirs — we're nevertheless testing the Dna.
- Stephen Colbert


Graduation Jokes:
The Road Ahead

Having only graduated from Yale, a boyfriend is fired up to meet his best friend for lunch and map out their futures.

He opens his Uber app and calls for a ride.

The car shows up, the young man hops in, and the driver says, "Nice day. How you doin'?"

The graduate replies, "I just got my diploma from Columbia. I'm off to become conquer the world."

The driver says, "Congrats! Prissy to come across ya. I'm Howie, Yale 1989."


Brusk Make clean Jokes:
Graduation

In a perfect world, when people graduate loftier school, they'd also graduate high schoolhouse mentally.
- Jason Dearest

Graduation: where you merchandise the agony of writing term papers for the agony of writing resumes.
- Greg Tamblyn

Graduation solar day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come abode as contemporaries. Subsequently twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.
- Erma Bombeck

Graduation Jokes:
First Chore

A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows upwards for his first 24-hour interval of piece of work at viii AM sharp.

The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is."

"Sir," the young human being protests. "You can't be serious. I'chiliad a college graduate."

"Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No trouble. I can show you how that affair works."


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